...

just recently, he began noticing really small things about himself and his life that seem to fall and fit into fine niches in place -- still without a clear direction and purpose but clearly with a sincere intent to pursue the self-journey of what he believed to be his lost soul.





he always felt an unexplainable sadness even at times when the occasion called for a festive disposition. in his eyes, he knew persons he was talking to were part of an unexplainable feeling of deja vu -- it was as if once before he had met them. in most places he went to, he felt that he was just going back home but to a home he had never been in this present life. everything he left, he had to bear an unbearable loneliness of leaving a place that he felt cradled him to knowing -- perhaps, lifetimes before. it must be the interconnectedness of all lives on earth, as he heard oftentimes before. or the force at work as he had sufficiently understood from jedi films. the deja vu's, however, were too strong in a sort of dreamlike recurrences that there must have been some sort of a confederation of past lives into his present one. the feeling of somehow knowing peoples and places without any rational explanation was unbearably strong, he did not feel prepared head-strong to confront that his past may have already come to haunt him in this present life.





... and a pot spills menacingly beside him. he awoke from a deep sleep, in time to remember the child and the woman in the dream, and only to find out that both the child and the woman actually belonged to a culture of a community he visited days after. it must have been a foreshadowing of what was to occur where in the future he would come to feel the unexplainable feeling of deja vu with the child and the woman, as he usually felt in most of his minded years. it could have been a subconscious trace of a past life.





for surely, the people he met were just too familiar - were they too many coincidences in a present life or just fate that seemingly seeks to binds connections from past lives... he was not all too sure about all these. as he noticed he had been having a hard time recognizing faces in the streets with his glasses, he felt he was seeing more clearly inside of him and the simplicity he wanted that most people have come to accustom against. he must see clearly now and find his ways back to his homes.

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