started anew here - arcibaldct.blogspot.com
2015/12/01
2015/05/25
sol
i was alone, driving cautiously through the hilly and winding roads along the north-western border, and it was then i finally met solitude. and death. we can accept the isolation of the self and the finality of death, that life is a process of dying alone.
it was there i was re-taught the virtues of mindfulness of the self and one's isolated connection with others.
i felt solitude then. i have forgotten. taken for granted with the world's attachments, like weeds that cling painfully to almost barren soils, solitude left me struggling, that living is the process of dying fully.
it was there i was re-taught the virtues of mindfulness of the self and one's isolated connection with others.
i felt solitude then. i have forgotten. taken for granted with the world's attachments, like weeds that cling painfully to almost barren soils, solitude left me struggling, that living is the process of dying fully.
.
there it was, in the shadows, lurking - a feeling of dread, discomfort, stress, agitation. and often times you pay a great deal of your life to suppress or deny its very being persisting inside of you.
be kinder to yourself.
one step at a time, you'll then find clarity, relief, comfort, vitality in your quest to save the world.
be kinder to yourself.
one step at a time, you'll then find clarity, relief, comfort, vitality in your quest to save the world.
2015/05/24
.
you hear honest words that hurt. you were off-guard. defensive. lost.
it is when words penetrate most that you realise you need to be better. detachment. passion. calmness. self-awareness. confidence. assertiveness.
love.
life.
how did you come to this point losing what matters most in living.
it is when words penetrate most that you realise you need to be better. detachment. passion. calmness. self-awareness. confidence. assertiveness.
love.
life.
how did you come to this point losing what matters most in living.
2015/04/05
re-writing life
she must have waited.
the blossoming from parched earth. the drizzling from heated skies.
how gentle the pulling
pushes, scrapes,
flushes and drapes.
i should have felt it.
the branching from fertile rivers and lakes. the spreading of colors
once lost in the wilderness of routine
pushes, dares,
flushes and flares.
a new-born.
2013/10/14
2013/07/17
2013/07/14
2013/05/22
seeing over
with me sits a coffee cup.
iced watered coffee dregs - the cup is almost overflowing
with time taking its slow toll for dissolution.
my life lays and my life lies.
as the last breath is taken away, the falsity of lived moments take their rightful places
claiming
that there is truth in dying.
he told me more than once.
he dreams of death - a floating kind of empty existence.
he sees his world in fast motion and he sees himself -
with consciousness is there life?
with consciousness is there death?
is death the unknowing - what is existence?
i fear to leave again
that in leaving i can never return.
there is an overflowing.
there is also - in dreaming -
an over-flowering.
iced watered coffee dregs - the cup is almost overflowing
with time taking its slow toll for dissolution.
my life lays and my life lies.
as the last breath is taken away, the falsity of lived moments take their rightful places
claiming
that there is truth in dying.
he told me more than once.
he dreams of death - a floating kind of empty existence.
he sees his world in fast motion and he sees himself -
with consciousness is there life?
with consciousness is there death?
is death the unknowing - what is existence?
i fear to leave again
that in leaving i can never return.
there is an overflowing.
there is also - in dreaming -
an over-flowering.
2013/03/18
2013/03/01
๓๓
it is that time of year again. and this time, work takes over.
the resurrection i had planned for today must be postponed for another day. with that too is a simple celebration of a new life.
and to you too i wish happiness in life.
the resurrection i had planned for today must be postponed for another day. with that too is a simple celebration of a new life.
and to you too i wish happiness in life.
2013/02/01
at 93
the news came as a surprise. it must have been six years since i last visited the college and one thing i have always looked forward to in a possible visit was bumping into her along the shadowed halls and corridors of malcolm hall. it never occurred that one day, at her old frail age but strong will and spirit, she will have to go. i must be one of those who believed that she will outlive us all. reality strikes, and every time i see her photo spread in social sites and electronic groups, i can never find myself resisting and holding back the sadness.
in her funny wit and sharp tongue during successful and failed recitations, she taught us not only about the civil law and procedure that we can always read in law books, court decisions, and case studies. there was always something about the humor in life found in the cases we studies. there was always the second chances to redeem yourself should you fail to get the first one right. there was always the patience to find creativity to answer and to look for answers, and her years of experience lets her know and lets her bypass the creative fault with a knowing smirk to surprise you with another round.
you will sorely be missed, but surely immortalized.
in her funny wit and sharp tongue during successful and failed recitations, she taught us not only about the civil law and procedure that we can always read in law books, court decisions, and case studies. there was always something about the humor in life found in the cases we studies. there was always the second chances to redeem yourself should you fail to get the first one right. there was always the patience to find creativity to answer and to look for answers, and her years of experience lets her know and lets her bypass the creative fault with a knowing smirk to surprise you with another round.
you will sorely be missed, but surely immortalized.
2013/01/21
the little details
there i was, wanting and expecting the remaining months to just fly by. here i am now, trudging each hour of the remaining months left. plans of moving on are always never simple, especially when there's nothing tangible yet after, when the future holds for you a number of uncertainties. decisions are hardly decisive. options are most of the time floating and vague. still, here i trudge the hours away. here i find time to look back. and after almost 3 years coming back to cebu again for almost a week long meeting, here i find myself absorbing the little details i have surely missed living abroad.
i am not particularly sure what in this place allows me dig for familiar spaces and things. the familiar local language and accents you hear. cinema one in cable. multicabs and taxi rides. christmas light and decors adorning establishments post-christmas month. viva pit senyor. the way couples drag each other on sidewalks and little children and parents populate the malls. my head bleeding after an accidental bump inside a public vehicle. getting lost and getting your way back. the local food and the local taste of international food. local faces. local decors. then a small fire ignites in me. when i would have thought otherwise, there i find little details.
i am not particularly sure what in this place allows me dig for familiar spaces and things. the familiar local language and accents you hear. cinema one in cable. multicabs and taxi rides. christmas light and decors adorning establishments post-christmas month. viva pit senyor. the way couples drag each other on sidewalks and little children and parents populate the malls. my head bleeding after an accidental bump inside a public vehicle. getting lost and getting your way back. the local food and the local taste of international food. local faces. local decors. then a small fire ignites in me. when i would have thought otherwise, there i find little details.
2013/01/07
20 something
i wanted to list down some twenty or more things about last year, but i got preoccupied by some twenty or more things for work. with an urge to find balance, i suddenly embarked on a long weekend journey and found some twenty or more things that can be done in a far town to the north of thailand. it did bring me back to my twenty something years and made me feel i was still within the twenty something age range.
2012/12/25
normal day
it was in 2009 that a usual christmas eve and christmas day happened - a day celebrating with family. in 2010 was a christmas eve dinner with a nepali guide and a christmas day trekking the hills and mountains of annapurna. in 2011 was a christmas eve dinner with a friend before taking an overnight train to north-eastern thailand and spending the christmas day traveling to vientiane and preparing for a longer journey to up-north phongsali.
last night was time alone and today was a morning work day, an early afternoon office party, a movie afternoon and a long dinner with colleagues and friends.
i still managed to find that fuzzy christmas feeling.
last night was time alone and today was a morning work day, an early afternoon office party, a movie afternoon and a long dinner with colleagues and friends.
i still managed to find that fuzzy christmas feeling.
2012/12/13
2012/12/12
home and away ball game
i never considered myself a football person but i have always enjoyed watching football over basketball. it must be because of the years being in the out-group during elementary and secondary schools for the inability to competitively dribble and shoot a basketball. either i would find myself in the substitute's bench waiting for that moment, which usually never came, to have my few short minutes in the court, or be with the others in the out-group playing our own fun and non-competitive basketball game, or play something different.
as for football, i remember taking summer camp for football which i was never really able to pursue. it was far more enjoyable. the game won't be as fast and driven as full-court and half-court runs in basketball, but it presented a thrill and excitement when you see the threat of opponents driving the football to your side's goal. these memories were more from elementary years. i have vague recollections of having football as an option for physical education during secondary years. in my free time, there was badminton and volleyball.
my interest in football came back during one of my work trips in the asean region when i discovered that a suzuki cup was being played between and among football teams in asean in 2008. i was in lao pdr then when friends were discussing about the performance of the teams from thailand, indonesia and malaysia. the renewed interest extended to the european cup roughly around that time, seeing myself rooting for an underdog russian team to win the cup.
then the premiere league caught my attention, with manchester city being the team that caught my interest - not because of the history and the support the team receives from oil-rich companies, or its players, but more because of its colors which appealed to me.
this year, i was finally able to watch my first live football game - when philippines played against myanmar in hopes of defeating myanmar to qualify for the 2012 suzuki cup semi-finals, which it did 2 to 0. i found myself with one hand grabbing the edge of my seat, and the other clutching tightly at my camera, and cheering for my home team. the insults hurled by seat-mates were low and amusing in the local vernacular, but in a stadium where the supporting audience of the opposing team was more than twice the size, meant a lot as booming cheers of support. surprisingly, with a full-game only mustering a total of 2 goals from both sides versus a full basketball game that collects a total from two side more than a hundred points, it carried a longer kind of thrill and suspense.
as for football, i remember taking summer camp for football which i was never really able to pursue. it was far more enjoyable. the game won't be as fast and driven as full-court and half-court runs in basketball, but it presented a thrill and excitement when you see the threat of opponents driving the football to your side's goal. these memories were more from elementary years. i have vague recollections of having football as an option for physical education during secondary years. in my free time, there was badminton and volleyball.
my interest in football came back during one of my work trips in the asean region when i discovered that a suzuki cup was being played between and among football teams in asean in 2008. i was in lao pdr then when friends were discussing about the performance of the teams from thailand, indonesia and malaysia. the renewed interest extended to the european cup roughly around that time, seeing myself rooting for an underdog russian team to win the cup.
then the premiere league caught my attention, with manchester city being the team that caught my interest - not because of the history and the support the team receives from oil-rich companies, or its players, but more because of its colors which appealed to me.
this year, i was finally able to watch my first live football game - when philippines played against myanmar in hopes of defeating myanmar to qualify for the 2012 suzuki cup semi-finals, which it did 2 to 0. i found myself with one hand grabbing the edge of my seat, and the other clutching tightly at my camera, and cheering for my home team. the insults hurled by seat-mates were low and amusing in the local vernacular, but in a stadium where the supporting audience of the opposing team was more than twice the size, meant a lot as booming cheers of support. surprisingly, with a full-game only mustering a total of 2 goals from both sides versus a full basketball game that collects a total from two side more than a hundred points, it carried a longer kind of thrill and suspense.
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